THEN AND NOW

'Thinking a lot' people use to say that seeing me. They aren't wrong actually. Very much right indeed. There is always something in my mind.

Will you say your mind is empty?

Ah, I can't just believe in that statement.

I ended up my first blog with 'SHARING'. I shared a little about me. Did you share about you to anyone? May be to your friends? Maybe just something personal to your mom or dad? May be sitting beside a roadside dog? Oh, the stray dog we call them!

Oh, see I just continue speaking up my mind only! Till now I guess you have figured it out.

Once there was a time I used to write a diary my father gave me, a brown big A4 sized I remember. I was in 4th standard. I used to write stupid stories and poems. Though my dad used to say "Nothing is stupid. Stupid is simple and simple is good"

Then time changed in a few years I stopped writing because I forgot to write. I got busy searching for friends.

I searched and searched. I kept searching for years. Six to seven years I did spend searching for a single friend to call my best friend.

Well, the point is I was immature enough to understand that I was chasing after a thing I couldn't get by pleasing to people! It was too late for me to be able to see the bright side of life. I took life as my enemy. I was broken inside to stand up and run again from everyone whoever scared me telling about how life could be.

Many of the humans tried to become sympathetic toward and helped running a little more.

No one just stopped me for once. No one, whoever I was believed to be my friends.

& finally, when all the crowd was gone and I looked up at the sky, I wanted to stop myself for a moment. I wanted to start over again by myself. I wanted to feel back those days when I used to read a lot of books but never felt alone. I wanted to achieve those dreams all of sudden which used to make me happy from inside. I wanted to wash off all those mud in a single splash of water. I wanted to sit in one place for a moment. I wanted to apologize to a lot many people.

Of course, life didn't take me back to whatever I wanted to do again. But this life has given me the best gift ever I have known, which is 'TIME'.

Now is the time I am completely different mind with different seeking and a different goal.

I don't like running anymore. I love facing everything coming on my way.

I did stop writing for years because I wanted to breathe and maybe was waiting for this self-realization.

I have realized everyone failed to stop me running because I myself wasn't ready to stop. Like I can't pull back a speeding rail with a rope. 

The mistakes made me see more clearly than my actual vision is.

Today I became late in everything for I ran away. But I started again and from scratch this time.

So for an example, if today I see people running to reach the line first, I choose to be late but to experience the journey first by observing, understanding every little thing.

My today is present.

My today will be continued.